How to Deal With Child Tantrums Without Losing Your Mind

Child tantrums can give anyone a headache. "No I want this one", "me, me, me" or "no" to this or "no" to that. The list can go on and so can your frustration as a parent. The simple fact is, as an adult it is important to have more patience with kids. Their level of patience is very different to ours so we need to take this into consideration when dealing with them. Most children usually throw tantrums between the age of 1 to 5 but it can happen with older kids too.

What makes tantrums so effective?

Children are smart little beings, believe you me, they know what they are doing when they want something. They will kick, scream and shout the place down if they know you will give in to their tantrum. How many times have you seen parents feeling so embarrassed by their child's behavior in public that they just simply give in to the child's demands? Kids will use the same tactics of negative behavior time and time again if they know they will get away with it. Child tantrums are effective because they get your attention and you usually give in. When you give children attention to their negative behavior, you are adding fuel to the fire, their behavior will eventually become worse.

Some of the best ways to deal with tantrums are summarized below.

Show less emotion, when your child behaves negatively be it at bedtime, when they are being told to do something or whilst out shopping with you, tell them no and stick to your guns. There is no point getting into a verbal argument with them, just tell them what the boundaries are and that's it. We all love our kids but if we become emotional during their bad behavior, they will in the long term show a lack of discipline be it at school or home.

Give less attention, by doing so you are telling them negative behavior will not give them what they want and you are not responding. Kids love to get our attention and we should give it for the right reasons. When they do something good, give them lots of praise. They will begin to understand that good behavior will mean lot's of attention and praise from my parents.

Give rewards, when your child behaves well. You may say something like, "If you stop this bad behavior, you can play with the toy car when we get home or I will buy some stickers if you are good". By giving incentives, your child has something to look forward to by not behaving badly. Of course don't use this tactic during the tantrum otherwise your child will think you are rewarding them for their negative behavior. Use this tactic before any tantrums begin.

Time outs, can be used to get your child to understand their behavior is not acceptable. Some parents use smacking as a method of discipline. I do not believe in smacking kids because " what happens once they stop fearing being smacked"? What do you do then? This is just my opinion. By disciplining them and not compromising on bad behavior, your child learns that they will not get their way at a very early age.

Child tantrums are very common in many kids growing up. It is how you decide to deal with the issue that will determine your child's behavior today and as they grow up.

Are you struggling with your child's tantrums? Are your 4 year old tantrums driving you insane? Or maybe it is your two, three or five year old?

Learn how you can control your child's negative behavior whether it is tantrums, biting, hitting or screaming by visiting

Temper Tantrums - 5 Common Causes and How to Deal With Them

Temper tantrums take many wild and sometimes amusing forms. It is easy as a parent, or as an observer, to write them off as naughty behavior but what causes these happy kids to go nuts all of a sudden?

The most common causes are not really going to surprise you.

Top 5 Temper Tantrum Causes

  • Need for attention (or attention seeking).
  • Hunger or thirst.
  • Pain or discomfort.
  • Tiredness.
  • Frustration.

One thing to keep in mind is that your child, especially under three years of age, has a limited set of communication tools. Sometimes the outward reason for the temper tantrum is not the real reason.

A small child might break down into a fit over what appears to be all about you denying them some candy at the store but the root cause is the simple fact they have not had enough to drink.

So just how do you deal with a tantrum?

First prevention is better than cure. I know life is not a black and white world and things happen but try to run through that list throughout the day. If you have mentally checked things off you might eliminate some of the potential tantrums throughout the day and also narrowed down your possible causes when a tantrum strikes.

Frustration and need for attention are the hardest to manage. Young kids have a rough time learning to use their bodies and sometimes it does not go well for them. All you can do is show patience and understanding.

Need for attention is different to attention seeking. Take as much time as you can to hang out with your child and give them the quality time they need. Not giving them that time can lead to wasting more time later on dealing with tantrums so you might find it more effective to consciously give them an hour a day of good time rather than 2 hours of negative attention.

When a tantrum does strike then try to use your child's short attention span to your advantage by offering a distraction. A different thing to play with or an activity. Consider their request seriously, sometimes it is better to give in a little to prevent a total meltdown.

Giving in does not demonstrate weakness or bad parenting. And if all else fails make sure they are in a safe environment to go crazy until the emotions subside and try to remain calm.

Click here to learn exactly what your children really want when they act out, throw tantrums and become unreasonable.

The 5 Best Ways to Treat Temper Tantrums and Change Toddler Behavior For the Better

The one thing about children especially when we are considering toddlers is that any attention is good. This is what my grandmother tells me. "Bad attention is better than no attention at all," and she is right about that. Toddlers can sometimes use temper tantrums as leverage to coerce parents to give them what they want. This only works when the parents give in and then the temper tantrums begin to grow both in amount and intensity.

There are many ways to deal with tantrums and toddlers misbehaving. However, throughout the parenting community everyone agrees on applying these five main points in order to treat the temper tantrums for good. And in the long run decrease and prevent them from having power over you or your family.

1. Separate yourself from the child throwing the tantrum. Keep your distance but remain close enough that you feel safe in the fact that they will not hurt themselves. Keeping them in their room while you wait right outside is ideal. They will do what ever they can to try and coax you to come to them. If you must come to them make this encounter as brief as possible and do not make eye contact until they settle down.

2. Be persistent in a consistent manner. Just let them cry it out is always suggested by everyone. This is not at all easy but it works. Otherwise it would not be recommended by so many parents and counselors. The more you give into the temper tantrum, even just the one time, you are only prolonging the suffering for everyone involved.

3. Do not try to reason with them. It will not work anyway. It is probably the most natural instinct but with no results. The child throwing a temper tantrum has already committed to the decision. They are all worked up emotionally and from here on out it is pure momentum. Trying to reason it out will only waste your time and prolong the toddlers outburst.

4. Be innovative. There are going to be some pretty crazy tricks coming from your toddler. So be prepared for anything and be willing to adopt new strategies as the situation may call for it. Just keep the overall premise here in tact, do not respond or validate the behavior in any way.

5. Mirroring the Message. This one is more for after the child has calmed down. What you want to do is to identify with your toddlers emotions without giving them the credibility that they want from the behavior. Saying things like "I understand that you really wanted that expensive toy but you are not yet old enough for it and I am unable to get it for you right now." This way you recognize their feelings but you are not giving in to the behavior.

After reading many, many books relating to toddlers and misbehavior you can quickly begin to see some similarities in the suggestions. These are the five best ways to treat temper tantrums and change toddler behavior for the better. These strategies are a combination of all the best speakers and authors on the subject. These strategies offer positive ways of disciplining your preschooler or toddler and will go a long way in helping parents achieve their goals.

Does your child hear you explain rules and openly ignores them? Do you worry that when you go out with your child they will throw a tantrum in public? There is a solution and it does not require you to punish your child and damage your relationship. This program is getting excellent feedback all across the country and now offers a free report with even more strategies. Find out the Best Ways to Treat Temper Tantrums and greatly reduce the stress and anxiety you feel when your child misbehaves. In my mind when a child is having a tantrum they are punishing themselves enough. The Best ways to Treat Temper Tantrums are without punishment. You need a plan that can help you in providing discipline and taking the worry out of your day to day life. This is an excellent system that will help you and your child in finding discipline without punishment. Deep inside your child really wants to behave. You can find that want and use it as motivation for your child to behave well.

How to Deal With a Toddler's Temper Tantrum

Tips On Toddler Discipline

Jack's mom is not alone. Toddlers are notorious for temper-tantrums and loud outbursts. But what can be done, and how do you discipline your child in front of sixteen shoppers and four store clerks?

Children begin to assert their independence as early as one year old. By this time, they have figured out that they are a separate person from their parents, and that they can actually choose what they do - whether to do what you tell them, or do what they feel like doing. Some children grow out of this stage quickly - others take several years. No matter how old your child is, temper-tantrums and fits can't be ignored. Nor should you simply do whatever the kid wants, in order to get him to shut up!

Establish and Manage Expectations

Sometimes kids misbehave because they simply don't know what's expected. Before going into a store, you might tell your youngster, "We're going into the store now, and you need to sit quietly in the cart. If you want to tell me some funny stories while we shop, that would be great! We won't cry or have tantrums, because then we'll have to leave." Make sure you manage your time in the store appropriately for your child's age.

He shouldn't be hungry or tired when you shop. And you probably can't expect him to happily sit in a shopping cart for two hours. Engage him and talk to him while you're in the store. And, if he throws a fit, leave your cart sitting there and leave. This can be difficult when you need to get the shopping done, but if he knows you're serious about leaving if he displays inappropriate behavior, he'll be more likely to behave on the next trip.

Offer Alternatives

"When Jack wants something he can't have, like scissors, for instance, I hand him something else," says his mom. This doesn't always work, but sometimes if you can provide your child with something that looks just as good, or better, they'll accept the alternative.

Keep 'em Busy

Bored kids can be more prone to look for trouble, or have a meltdown. Keep lots of appropriate activities at hand, especially in situations that call for "best behavior." At church, in the store or at a restaurant, bring small toys, coloring books or snacks. If there are fun things around to do that won't get them into trouble, they'll be less likely to find all the things they can't have.

A Structured Environment

Kids like to know what's going to happen next, and they'll benefit greatly from a basic schedule. You might plan a shopping trip right after morning nap and lunch, when your toddler is well-rested and fed. A regular bedtime is important, too. Trying to dine out with a tired toddler after bedtime is a disaster, and makes for a stressful meal for both you and the other patrons at the restaurant!

You're in Charge

One of the worst things you can do in the middle of a tantrum is to give the child what he wants. This sets a precedence for more bad behavior, because you've actually rewarded the child for throwing himself down and screaming. He learns that, when you say "no" you only mean it until he screams, then he gets what he wants. Even though initially, it can be more work to stick to your resolve, in the end your discipline problems will be fewer because your child will know it just won't work.

Try re-directing your child when he can't have or do what he wants. Say, "Let's get a new idea. What fun thing can we think of now?

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Funny toddler

Toddler Tantrums - Why Kids Have Temper Tantrums

Some toddlers, even some older kids, throw fits, while some kids do not. If you are blessed with a child who does not throw toddler tantrums or children tantrums, then you are very lucky, and you should count your blessings. For the rest of us, it really helps in solving the problem when you know exactly why your kids are throwing these temper tantrums.

WebMD defines a temper tantrum as "an unplanned, unintentional expression of anger, often with physical and verbal outbursts. It is not an act to get attention, as is commonly thought."

A temper tantrum basically means your child is frustrated. Their frustrations could be the result of multiple things, but in the end, your child is angry and frustrated. They do not know how to react to the situation, so they start crying, whining, screaming, and throwing their arms and legs all over. Not the ideal way to solve the problem, but your child does not know any better, which explains why getting angry at them does not solve the situation.

The frustration could be physical like when they are hungry or thirsty. The frustration could be mental like when they cannot learn something or they are having problems learning a skill or completing a task. Toddler tantrums almost always occur when you tell your child "No". They do not know how to handle being told no, so they throw their temper tantrums.

If toddler tantrums are dealt with incorrectly, your child will begin to use them to their advantage. While there are no fool-proof methods for controlling and stopping them, they are a lot of things that can help.

Need help controlling your toddler tantrums and the terrible twos. Check out Children Tantrums. I will try you my personal story and how I got my 2 toddlers to stop throwing temper tantrums.

Temper Tantrums

Parenting Toddlers - Top 3 Tips To Encourage Positive Behavior

New Guide reveals why your child misbehaves and teaches you how to stop your child's defiant out of control behavior - GUARANTEED

If you've tried bribing punishing negotiating and even screaming - but your child still doesn't listen then read how these parents stopped the bad behavior once and for all... CLICK HERE NOW TO LEARN HOW TO STOP BAD BEHAVIOR IN YOUR CHILD >>

Toddlers are not known as terrible twos and troublesome threes for nothing. In fact it would not be an exaggeration to say that majority of the parents of toddlers do agree with the fact that it is extremely tiresome and hectic to manage toddlers especially to discipline them. All toddlers like to have things in their own way and try to test the limits and patience of their parents. This article aims at discussing the top 3 strategies for encouraging discipline and positive behavior in toddler:

Appreciate positive behavior and co-operation:
This is indeed the most effective of all disciplining strategies. Toddlers like children of any age love to be appreciated and encouraged. When they see that they are appreciated for a particular activity or behavior they are more likely to repeat it to attract similar admiration. It is worth mentioning here that appreciating is an integral part of parenting toddlers with a strong will in fact this is the only disciplining strategy which has an instant effect on such toddlers.

Time out:
While your toddler might not respond to it in the initial stages he is bound to enforce positive behavior in himself when he is aware of the concept. It is highly recommended that one keeps the 'time out' brief one minute a year usually works fine. It is also crucial to tell the toddler the reason for the time-out and to let him know that the same behavior would again ask for the same treatment. While it is a good idea to discipline children even on an outing as parents we should take enough care to safe-guard the self-esteem of our toddlers by not doing it in front of others.

Distraction is the best positive behavior tool:
Distraction or redirection works wonders in encouraging positive behavior in parents. As parents we only need to distract the toddlers from the negative behavior or activity to something more positive. When this is done repeatedly in a specific scenario your toddler is bound to lose interest in it. This is because toddlers are usually interested in what their parents are interested in and when you don't show interest in something slowly but steadily your toddler will lose interest in it too.

There are several other strategies which help in enforcing discipline and positive in toddlers it is important to act according to the situation and in the best interest of your toddler.

If you've tried bribing punishing negotiating and even screaming - but your child still doesn't listen then read how these parents stopped the bad behavior once and for all... CLICK HERE NOW TO LEARN HOW TO STOP BAD BEHAVIOR IN YOUR CHILD >>

Toddler Parenting Tips : How to Discourage Temper Tantrums

Toddler Temper Tantrums - 5 Cool Ways To Cope"

New Guide reveals why your child misbehaves and teaches you how to stop your child's defiant out of control behavior - GUARANTEED

If you've tried bribing punishing negotiating and even screaming - but your child still doesn't listen then read how these parents stopped the bad behavior once and for all... CLICK HERE NOW TO LEARN HOW TO STOP BAD BEHAVIOR IN YOUR CHILD >>

Jemima our just-turned 4-year-old grand daughter lives with us and throws temper tantrums. Lynnette my wife responds to these calmly in an amazingly self contained and controlled manner. I however tend to want to react by taking control of the situation by putting a stop to the tantrum immediately.

I know that Lynnette's way is the better and right way to go. I am learning that it is better to respond appropriately rather than react to Jemima's out bursts. This article will look at five sure ways to help deal with your toddler's temper tantrums.

  • Don't Spank Hit or Yell

When your toddler is out of control you don't want to smack hit or yell at her to try to get her to behave. Anything like spanking hitting or yelling will only make her more upset. Be aware that she knows how to 'push your buttons'. If you are a volatile mom or dad it'll be easy for your toddler to trigger an explosion from you ending in a screaming match with no winners. It just won't work. Try ignoring the tantrum.

  • Ignore Minor Anger Outbursts

If you ignore your toddler's tantrums you send her a clear message that her tantrums are unacceptable. Minor displays of toddler anger such as screaming crying or kicking can usually be ignored. Your toddler is trying to attract your attention. If you don't give her that attention she will lose interest and stop the tantrum. When the tantrum is over take her in your arms to reassure her and let her sense that you are on her side. Distraction is another cool technique to try.

  • Use Distraction

Distract her with som

Discipline For Toddlers Or Kids Of All Ages

Coping With Toddler Temper Tantrums

Often toddler temper tantrums come in two forms, manipulative tantrums and frustration tantrums. If you feel that your child is using tantrums as a way to manipulate you, let him know that you do not respond to that kind of behavior. Children know exactly how to push their parent's buttons and when you walk away it send a clear message to your child that their behavior is unacceptable.

Toddler temper tantrums usually happen at the worse possible times. They usually happen when you are on the phone, at the store shopping or busy in some other way. Frustration tantrums require some attention. Use these tantrums as an opportunity to bond with your child. Help them out when they are frustrated. This way you establish your authority and build your child's trust. Babies that are carried a lot and whose cues are responded to are less prone to tantrums and are able to deal with emotional upset without falling apart. They are less prone to impulsive behavior or angry outbursts.

Keep a toddler temper tantrum diary. Keeping track of tantrums and what triggers them. Make sure and note if they are bored, tired, sick, hungry or over stimulated. Watch for pre-tantrum signals and try to intervene before they start. Wise parents avoid situations that will cause emotional overload in their children. You may learn that your child tantrums happen most often before bedtime or when you are busy. They may happen after a long play date with a friend. Learn from your observation and when you find a technique that works, use it again.

Remember that you are not responsible for your toddler temper tantrums, nor for stopping them. Your baby's behavior is not a reflection on your parenting abilities. This kind of behavior is perfectly normal when your child is striving for independence.

Toddler temper tantrums in public are always embarrassing. The embarrassment often makes it difficult to understand your toddlers feeling. Remember to keep your cool. Don't lose control and lash out at your child. They are already out of control and they need you to remain in control.

Get used to planning ahead for toddler temper tantrums. You can't expect your toddler to be a model of good behavior in public when they are hungry or tired. It is simply not realistic. Go shopping when you are both well rested and fed. Morning is usually a better time to go out. They will more likely to be tired and hungry in the afternoon.

Some children are more inclined toward toddler temper tantrums than others. Strong willed children who have trouble controlling their emotions are most likely to throw tantrums. They also have a harder time regaining control. Understanding your child's temperament is vital.

There are also some traits that make a child more prone to toddler temper tantrums. These traits can be beneficial to their intellectual and social development, such as sensitivity, persistence, determination and creativity. So now maybe you can appreciate why you sweet baby occasionally turns sour.

Are you struggling, overwhelmed and exhausted with your child's behavior? Learn simple and effective parenting tools that ensure that you're raising a child that you can truly be proud of.

How to Avoid Toddlers Temper Tantrums

3 Tips to Stop Temper Tantrums in Toddlers

I remember when my wife and I first found out that she was pregnant. We started thinking of names, wondered if the baby would be a boy or a girl, and pictured what he or she would look like. One thing that was very far from our minds was a temper tantrum. However, once you have a two year old, because of the prevalence of temper tantrums in toddlers, they are impossible to ignore.

Temper tantrums in toddlers are difficult to deal with and can leave a parent feeling powerless to stop. Having tools to deal with your child and a plan in place will greatly increase your chance of success. While I can't hope to give you an entire plan in a short article, I hope my top 3 tips to stop temper tantrums in toddlers will be a good start.

Tip #1 to stop temper tantrums in toddlers: Sleep, Sleep, and More Sleep!

One of the most common reasons for temper tantrums in toddlers is that they are tired. Research shows that toddlers need at least 13 hours of sleep every day. It is recommended that they get roughly 11 hours of sleep at night and a further 2 hours of sleep during the day. I know what you are probably thinking, "but my kid just doesn't need that much sleep." Well, does he fall asleep in the car? Do you have to wake her up in the morning? These are two signs that your toddler is not getting enough sleep, and that could be greatly contributing to tantrums throughout the day. Just think about how you feel when you are not getting enough sleep, and your toddlers behavior might make a little more sense!

Tip #2 to stop temper tantrums in toddlers: Set a Routine, and Stick With it!

No matter what you have read to the contrary, children want, and need, structure. They like to know that certain things happen at a set time every day. I am by no means telling you to regulate your child's life, but if a parent wants to stop temper tantrums in toddlers, the daily routine is a great place to start. Many tantrums are triggered when a child is tired or hungry. By setting a schedule for naps and lunch, your child's body will adjust to the daily schedule and he will be less irritable as a result.

Tip #3 to stop temper tantrums in toddlers: Don't Give Your Child Too Many Choices

While giving a toddler some choices to make is a very good thing as it will help him to develop independence, it can easily be overdone. Toddlers brains are very concrete and are not yet ready for too many choices which can often lead to temper tantrums in toddlers. Have you ever been to a restaurant with hundreds of items on its menu? The choice can be overwhelming even for an adult who fully understands how to make decisions. Instead of asking, "what do you want for lunch?" ask "would you like a grilled cheese, or a hot dog?" This way, your child is still learning to make choices and develop responsibility, but the stress and confusion is eliminated.

I hope that these three tips are helpful for you and your child. Parents everywhere are struggling, but there is hope! Click here for more tools and strategies and an entire plan for how to completely eliminate temper tantrums in toddlers forever!

Toddler Biting - Toddler Tantrums

Toddler Tantrum Advice - You Don't Have to Suffer the Terrible Twos!

Possibly the best toddler tantrum advice I ever got was to stop taking advice from all and sundry, and listen to my child. I know that toddler tantrums can be hard to deal with, it's easy to get frustrated and angry yourself. But when you stop to think about what your child is trying to express with their infant tantrums you can't help being a lot more sympathetic.

The world is a very frustrating place for the two year old. They still don't have a lot of language to convey their feelings, but they have to deal with new developments everyday.

Your typical two year old toddler is just learning about the differences between you and them. As a separate being they can do lots of things without you, including saying "No!", yet they are still so reliant on you in so many ways.

To be a successful parent we need to steer them safely through this stage, helping them become more independent and confident in their own abilities. Lessons learned in dealing with their emotions now will stand them in good stead for the future.

So, rather than physical discipline to stop tantrums, we need to use positive reinforcement for "good behaviour", and offer emotional support through the inevitable storms. Of course, preventing the tantrum from happening is best both for the child and our nerves!

Watch and learn to read the signs that tell you when a strop is on the way. Tiredness, stress, boredom and over restraint are common causes of a tantrum exploding. Once you have figured out the triggers that set your little person off, you will know the best way to prevent a tantrum starting, or at least be prepared when it does.

Sometimes simple distraction will work, more often not. Once a tantrum is in full flow you just have to wait it out really, trying your best to pretend it isn't happening. While we want them to know that we are there when they are ready for comfort, we don't want to reward the tantrum by paying it too much attention.

For some children just walking away and leaving them to it for a while is good. Of course that can't be used in every situation, much as you might want to pretend that child writhing around on the grocery store floor isn't yours!

By taking away the drama from the situation you defuse the emotions, and hopefully you won't need toddler tantrum advice for very long. But for toddlers who hit & bite, or a toddler who's already learnt to manipulate you using his tantrums you might have to be more proactive.

If you are interested in more of my toddler tantrum advice, especially on handling more severe toddlers behaviour problems check Parenting Problems out.