Possibly the best toddler tantrum advice I ever got was to stop taking advice from all and sundry, and listen to my child. I know that toddler tantrums can be hard to deal with, it's easy to get frustrated and angry yourself. But when you stop to think about what your child is trying to express with their infant tantrums you can't help being a lot more sympathetic.
The world is a very frustrating place for the two year old. They still don't have a lot of language to convey their feelings, but they have to deal with new developments everyday.
Your typical two year old toddler is just learning about the differences between you and them. As a separate being they can do lots of things without you, including saying "No!", yet they are still so reliant on you in so many ways.
To be a successful parent we need to steer them safely through this stage, helping them become more independent and confident in their own abilities. Lessons learned in dealing with their emotions now will stand them in good stead for the future.
So, rather than physical discipline to stop tantrums, we need to use positive reinforcement for "good behaviour", and offer emotional support through the inevitable storms. Of course, preventing the tantrum from happening is best both for the child and our nerves!
Watch and learn to read the signs that tell you when a strop is on the way. Tiredness, stress, boredom and over restraint are common causes of a tantrum exploding. Once you have figured out the triggers that set your little person off, you will know the best way to prevent a tantrum starting, or at least be prepared when it does.
Sometimes simple distraction will work, more often not. Once a tantrum is in full flow you just have to wait it out really, trying your best to pretend it isn't happening. While we want them to know that we are there when they are ready for comfort, we don't want to reward the tantrum by paying it too much attention.
For some children just walking away and leaving them to it for a while is good. Of course that can't be used in every situation, much as you might want to pretend that child writhing around on the grocery store floor isn't yours!
By taking away the drama from the situation you defuse the emotions, and hopefully you won't need toddler tantrum advice for very long. But for toddlers who hit & bite, or a toddler who's already learnt to manipulate you using his tantrums you might have to be more proactive.
If you are interested in more of my toddler tantrum advice, especially on handling more severe toddlers behaviour problems check Parenting Problems out. |
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