It can be very difficult as a parent not to give in to your child when he or she is behaving terribly and you just want it to stop. However, this sort of behavior can only get worse and when the child is a teenager, he or she will increase the severity and intensity of the behavior to the point where you either give in or deal with serious consequences.
At that point a little temper tantrum from a two-year-old will seem like a piece of cake. You'll wish for just a temper tantrum at that point. It is much easier to follow through with a little 2-year-old than a much bigger and stronger 14-year-old that has had 12 years of learning what works to get what he or she wants. The first tip for preventing tantrums is to always make sure your child is getting proper sleep and eating every few hours as sleep deprivation and hunger can make tantrums more likely when saying no to a child.
Tips on ways to say no without a temper tantrum:
o Avoid saying "No," and tell the child what he or she CAN have instead.
For example, if your child wants juice or pop and your child can't have any, but he or she can have water only say, "You can have water." He or she asks again and you say, "You can have water." Then continue to get the water and hand it to the child and walk away ignoring all other behavior. This method works better if it is possible to give a choice, such as "You can have water or milk." For a child that wants to play and is refusing to go to bed, you could say, "You can read books or go to bed." Reading books would be part of the bedtime routine and therefore the choice still leads to going to bed.
o When you are tired, stressed or vulnerable, just say "Yes" right away as long as it isn't something unsafe or impossible to have/do.
If you know that you are in a position where you will not be able to follow through when you say "No", just say yes in the first place unless you are certain he or she will not have a tantrum. Avoid saying no when you are vulnerable to giving in and end up having him or her throw a fit to where you end up saying yes anyways and the only thing you accomplished was teaching the child that when you say, "No" it doesn't matter.
o Practice saying "No" and following through when you are in circumstances you know you will follow through.
For example, let's say you wanted to make a rule, such as no watching the DVD player in your car unless a trip is longer than 30 minutes. Initially, if you say no your child might throw a horrible tantrum that could ultimately last up to 30 minutes if the trip was just under the amount you stated. If you give in during that time you would reinforce your child's behavior. However, driving with a kid throwing a temper tantrum for 25 minutes would be unbearable. So, instead start with trips less than 10 minutes, knowing that you can endure a 10 minute tantrum. After successfully saying no without a tantrum, then put into place the original rule of DVD's only for trips longer than 30 minutes.
o Eliminate the biggest problems.
If your child is constantly fighting to get the same thing, such as a donut or to play a certain video game, don't bring donuts into your home and pack away the video game until he or she begins to better accept not always getting what he or she wants.
Also, remember that it can take time for tantrums to completely disappear in young children while they are learning their environment and developing communication. However, by putting these tips into practice, remaining consistent and following through on your word, you will establish positive behavior that will persist as your child gets older.
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