When bedtime comes around, does your child throw bedtime tantrums? Do they yell, kick, and scream - or maybe you have the bedtime escape problem (they won't stay in their bed). Regardless of the type of tantrum, it is disruptive and can cause so much stress in the house that it just seems like giving in is the best way to deal with it all. This article will provide some basic information - however, the process of overcoming bedtime tantrums will typically require more than just a single method.
Identify The Cause of Bedtime Tantrums
Tantrums are a symptom, not the actual problem. So, to really get things fixed you need to understand the root of the problem. Here are a few possible reasons your child may be throwing tantrums at bedtime:
Separation Tantrums - Typical in younger children (infants and toddlers) and it has to do with a since of security. Fear is a strong emotion and needs to be handled appropriately.
Over-Stimulation Tantrums - This is when your child has crossed the line in levels of external activities and they do not know how to cope. They could be over-tired, hungry, or just overwhelmed by all that is going on around them.
Power Tantrums - Now your child is wanting to see who has the power. They want a little more time, just one more store, a longer bedtime routine - anything to stay up longer.
Attention Getting Tantrums - These can be pretty extreme, as your child is trying to find a way of keeping you involved in the process.
Reclaim Your Nights
By understanding the underlying cause of the tantrum, you can begin to work on the cause of the tantrum.
For Separation - don't sneak out. You need to work on reassuring your child that you are going to be there. Try playing games during the day where you go away and come back. Increase the 'hiding' time and help them learn that you will return.
For Over-Stimulation - this one is best to just avoid as much as possible by keeping a routine. Often, a well established bedtime routine can help calm a child down.
For Power - don't give in. As soon as you do, they will just do the same thing or more the next night, because it works. Stay calm and remember that you are the parent. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
For Attention - This one can take some time outside of the bedtime routine to really fix. It is often a need for more focused attention throughout the day. Try scheduling reading time, play time, talking time, and just some cuddle time. Children need attention, just as we do.
It Is Never Over
The tantrums will not disappear like magic, but there are great ways of stopping bedtime tantrums. If you want a child that is well behaved, respective, and polite, while staying a child - you should check out: Parenting Discipline Resources
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